How do you deal with the feeling as if you are the worst possible human being alive?
Contemplation is difficult. Introspection is tougher when it comes to self. But it’s easy to preach. To tell others how to live and what the right thing is.
If only one could be silently learning, relearning and changing the actions that needs change, life would be great!
Words, words, empty words.
I am tired!
Pulled an all nighter. Went to bed at around 2 o’clock in the afternoon so, my mind is pretty baffled.
On a small trip inside! And soon it will begin. 😊
When I am wide awake,
I’m still drowning in my dreams.
When I am sitting somewhere,
I am distracted by the voices.
When I am looking,
I am day dreaming.
When I am reading,
I am swimming in the words.
When I am writing,
I am contemplating emotions.
When I am eating,
I am trying to feel the deep taste.
When I am walking in the crowd,
I am searching for my identity .
And when I am sleeping,
I am lost in the labyrinth of my nightmares.
it never seems to rest.
[I came across this poem I wrote a long time ago. 3 years ago to be precise. It is a bit paradoxical to post this as my project happiness post. But this post somehow awakened something in me. A consciousness about my turbulent mind, which doesn’t seem to be getting any better, anyways. But I guess that’s what living is, living is a struggle.
I am all alone in my cozy room listening to music and trying to read a bit. I am thinking about my thesis almost all the time now which is good. Oh these phases you go through when you are working on your research is overwhelming. But keeping myself real and my mind healthy is important than anything else I guess. 🙂 ]