Tag Archives: living

Body on the street

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I have gotten back to studying. After three years, I finally got my study mode activated and it feels so good. I spent almost all day at the University sometimes with a fellow study loving friend and sometimes all by myself. The best thing is I am productive, day feels really fulfilled and the night in the almost empty hallway at the university is really special. Last week I just went to the dark hallway and started dancing. It was one of the best moment of my life. I felt free and happy.

A couple of weeks ago, me and my friend decided to go out drawing on the street in the middle of the night. It was a really interesting experience. We were basically trying to go on a rampage drawing whatever creative craziness that came in our minds. A funny thing happened. I was lying on the road when my friend was outlining me with a colored chalk. Suddenly a car stopped near us and a woman came out screaming at my friend: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ I got up laughing and she just looked at us in disbelief saying: ‘That’s not funny, that’s not funny. I thought you were killed or something.’ Me, my friend and her boyfriend in the car were laughing so hard but she was angry and left mumbling swear words. We apologized but she was super pissed at us (it was weekend and she was drunk). But it just made the whole experience really memorable. So, we just went back to coloring the street. Here is a picture:

And here’s a blurry picture of me with Tromsø bridge in the background and the drawings.

Me and doodle

A few days later, rain came and swept away all the colors but I wasn’t sad because I realized nothing lasts forever. It also gives room for something new: A new chapter in my life perhaps.

If only rain would come and wipe my slate clean…

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Is it too late to be back?

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The last time I blogged, I promised that I will write more often and come up with some new projects. Life apparently had some other plans for me. So, I broke up with him after two and a half years of roller-coaster ride together. We hit the new highs and the new lows. But somethings happened and I realized that I didn’t want to continue being this way. It was very difficult last few months. Now I feel very different. The strangest thing is I am so apathetic. I am still trying to register what I learnt from this. However, it is quite difficult. I will need to contemplate what I really feel about it. But two years is a long time and we have always been such good friends. It’s gonna be difficult to adjust to things without each other. Even though I have had a lot of practice of being on my own when it comes to a lot of things for the past couple of months. I feel like it is difficult to lose the feeling of love for someone that you have loved for so long. Do you really lose it? Or does it just gets transformed into something bitter or nonchalant? I don’t really know because right now I can’t feel anything. I feel love for this guy I met quite recently but it’s on and off. I am so scared and skeptical with the idea of devoting myself fully to another human being and being vulnerable. I realize that something inside me is broken. Trust, belief, hope, I can’t really point out what it is. But when I look at my road ahead, there is no one walking with me anymore. I am all alone.

This, however, has made me very determined to take care of myself. I have been more focused on what I want from my life now. I am quite sure that the next one year of my life will not be a waste. I cannot afford to lose more time on dilly dallying about emotional shits. I want to work on my stuffs. I got into a new online course at my university. I am applying for a work visa and if it works out, I will need to find a job that I love and kill myself with it. So, you might ask me why I chose this. The easiest thing to do would be to just stay in the relationship and get used to the chaos, out of convenience. But all my life, the quest has been to avoid exactly this chaos, this mediocre mundane existential cycle, this monotonous boredom, this hatred and dislike in eyes of each other. I just don’t want to get used to that.

So, the process of living right now has been to keep my mind off the bad thoughts as much as possible. I’ve become much calmer than ever before and I know where I am heading. This feels really good. I have a good feeling about myself.

Anyways, on another note, it’s my favourite poet Charles Bukowski’s birthday today. So, here’s his poem called ‘the crunch’ narrated by the man himself. Happy Birthday badass wordsmith! 🙂

Happy New Year 2074

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It’s Nepali New Year today. Happy Nepali New Year.  We are in 2074 now. We are way ahead in time, no? 😝 

But this is not the only new year we celebrate.  We have celebration on other new years like Tibetan/Sherpa, Newari, Tamang, Western as well.  I feel so privileged and grateful that I grew up in such a harmonious and open minded society where we learn to be receptive, tolerant and respectful towards other cultures and ways of lives.  

Here are some pictures I took from the walk this afternoon. The weather in Tromsø has been so beautiful the past few days.  


Meanwhile, it’s Easter as well so, Happy Easter.  God Påske as Norwegians say it! 

Getaway 

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We went down south for post Christmas family time since we have not been there since November.  

The best thing about the trip was of course bonding time with the family. Apart from that, it was also really nice to see the sun.

By the way, sun is officially back in Tromsø but the weather has been so shitty that we have not had a chance to see it yet. 

Meanwhile, here are some pictures from the trip.

Project Happiness 365: Day 365

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It’s The Day today. I complete my 365 days project happiness.  I managed. I wasn’t sure in the beginning but with each passing day and post, I felt more determined. I did it. I failed to post somedays or failed to post a happy post a couple of times but still I posted a post that I felt was honest and real. I couldn’t believe that a lazy procrastinating Queen like me can be determined and post every single day! I feel really good. I also feel very privileged to have met amazing human beings like you guys, my readers, my fellow bloggers, who keep visiting my blog and showing me so much love and affection. My gratitude to you all! 

Today in this final post of Project Happiness 365, I want to share with you my reflections. 

  • Let it go. 

It’s not just Elsa singing on the top of her lungs but LITERALLY! Let it go. All the guilt, pain, heartache, regret, sadness and anxiety, it’s not worth it.  Just let it go. You don’t know how to do it.  Well just think about yourself as the most beautiful creation of nature.  Your mind, your being, your spirit, they are all precious, you know so, all these negative aspects of your life it’s just draining your energy and nothing else. The sooner you realise that all the anxiety, self loathing, guilt and, all other negative things that your torturing yourself with, is not worth your time and energy, the better it is. 

  • Love yourself.  

You might think it’s a stale, mainstream, mediocre formula but it is not. It took me so many wrong decisions and five psychedelic trips to understand that actually there is nothing beyond loving yourself.  Well be shocked and offended with my revelation as much as you like,  it doesn’t matter because the secret to happiness is loving yourself. In the end, it’s all You, always been you and always will be you. I don’t mean this in a self-loathing or obnoxious way but more in terms of self love, care and satisfaction. 
So, take care of yourself and love yourself as much as you can.  By doing so, you are doing this world a favour.  Because it’s not egoistic or narcissistic to love yourself. It only becomes problematic when you start thinking that you are above everyone else because you are not. No matter how good looking you are or no matter how much money you have or how powerful you are,  everything is temporary and the only certain thing is Death. And when you die, non of the things you have acquired in this life matters other than experiences and love.

  • Happiness is inside you. 

This is probably the most cliché thing I am gonna include in my list but I don’t care because this is an important lesson.  If you want to be happy, Be. Noone is stopping you. If you think other person has the power to make you unhappy then you are wrong because let me break your bubble,  it’s you who makes yourself unhappy. 

  • Nothing lasts forever…but nothing is lost. 

It is more than just a mash up title of two songs by my favourite band Sphongle. It’s something that has helped me overcome a lot of my insecurities. The most important lesson I learnt in these 365 days is that nothing lasts forever because the world is changing each passing moment.  Things change, events change, people change and you change as well. You just need to understand and accept that change is inevitable.  But let me tell you that nothing is lost. It is always gonna be there in you. Always as long as you want it to. 😊 

So, what’s next? 
Struggling writer asked me this question : ‘What after 365 days?’ Well, I guess being happy and grateful is an evergoing process. My purpose is to remember these lessons I have learnt and keep on living in the here and now. 
I will keep posting my things that I feel like sharing and are important to me. I would really much like to focus on photography and drawing.  So, this will be a platform to share my works. 

I never saw life with a rose colored glasses before. But now I feel much more positive and determined. It actually is all about how you want to see your life. So, finding a reason for happiness and gratitude each day  isn’t that difficult.  Happiness is everywhere, it’s inside you just had to open your eyes and see. As this song says…happiness is easy! 🙂

Project Happiness 365: Day 352

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Today is for love, love, love! 😍 It’s been a wonderful lovey dovey day! 

I got this glasswork bird as a gift from his grandparents when we went down south this time.  I took this picture last night. Doesn’t it look cool with the reflection of the backdrop? 

Project Happiness 365: Day 324

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“Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?”

– T.S.Eliot “Choruses from ‘The Rock'”

Found a book called Living, Dreaming, Dying by Rob Nairn. I can’t express in words how I feel.  This book is what I needed to read today. 

Project Happiness 365: Day 289

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Some days ago,  I posted about an app called Booster Buddy. This little buddy I chose is the source of my happiness.  I love this app. It makes me do things that brings me closer to nature, helps me connect with my loved ones and also urges me to be organised. Every single day when I wake up, I look forward to meet my buddy and see what quests he has for me. These quests are so dynamic that I don’t get annoyed or bored. 

It also helps you keep track of your medication. If you are trying to quit alcohol or drugs, the buddy will help you by keeping track of your usage and providing you coping techniques.

If you are someone like me who gets anxious and needs motivation to do your stuffs then, you should definitely get this app. It’s awesome. Look at this happy cutie pie!