This week has been much better. I have been back to work after 24 days. The guy was in hospital and my job was to visit him there during my shift. Being in hospital during the most difficult time of my life didn’t help me that much. It was too depressing to be there. But I tried to be cheerful and kept his spirit high. He is back to his home now and work life is back to the old routine.
So, on a happier note, the green lady is back. A couple of days ago, I had to stay an hour extra at work to help disinfecting the apartment and I was quite tired and annoyed. But when I went out to get the bus home, I witnessed the most amazing northern lights ever. The sky was lighted up in a purple shade and it seemed like I was being blessed with a light shower. I cried my way home because I got so emotional. Here are some phone pictures:
Another happy news this week is that the university instagram page featured one of my photos on their page.I took this picture, one sunny day when I was sitting outside in the sun eating chocolate buns with my best friend. It was the last day we were gonna hangout together as he left for Canada the same day. I just looked up and saw the usual university building in a different perspective and took the shot.
Also, my instagram post about a local restaurant was featured in the travel instagram page about Tromsø. I really love taking pictures so, I feel really happy about it.
The other event that brought smile was that someone baked marble cake and bought flowers n chocolates for me.
It was a very emotional moment for me because the past couple of months have been very difficult and someone doing a kind gesture like this just to make me happy is something priceless. I have been so scared of the display of love, affection and appreciation lately. I want to see good in people without being skeptical of their actions. But it seems difficult. Everytime someone does something nice for me, I start thinking, ‘What the fuck do you want from me in return?’ At the same time, this bitterness that has grown into me is something noone should deal with. Especially not someone who feels so much love for me. I feel like it’s unfair towards these people who show me love. This kind of mindset is definitely a recipe for disaster. I had never imagined that I would be scared of love.
But this phase of my life is for accepting the past and myself. It is also a phase where I am relearning to trust people, to be open to the idea of love and appreciate the appreciation I am receiving again.