I have been stumbling upon so many poems by Rupi Kaur. Seems like all my literary/artist friends are reading her book ‘Milk and Honey’ and they have been sharing it on instagram. I wish I had read her before. But I collected some of them on the internet and want to share with you. Her poem probably resonates to most of the women out there but right now, it resonates to me in a whole different level. Her poems speak to me, they tug my heart, they make me contemplate, they make me cry but at the end, they teach me to get up and realize how strong I am as a woman, as a human.
How can someone write so beautifully?
I have gotten back to studying. After three years, I finally got my study mode activated and it feels so good. I spent almost all day at the University sometimes with a fellow study loving friend and sometimes all by myself. The best thing is I am productive, day feels really fulfilled and the night in the almost empty hallway at the university is really special. Last week I just went to the dark hallway and started dancing. It was one of the best moment of my life. I felt free and happy.
A couple of weeks ago, me and my friend decided to go out drawing on the street in the middle of the night. It was a really interesting experience. We were basically trying to go on a rampage drawing whatever creative craziness that came in our minds. A funny thing happened. I was lying on the road when my friend was outlining me with a colored chalk. Suddenly a car stopped near us and a woman came out screaming at my friend: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ I got up laughing and she just looked at us in disbelief saying: ‘That’s not funny, that’s not funny. I thought you were killed or something.’ Me, my friend and her boyfriend in the car were laughing so hard but she was angry and left mumbling swear words. We apologized but she was super pissed at us (it was weekend and she was drunk). But it just made the whole experience really memorable. So, we just went back to coloring the street. Here is a picture:
And here’s a blurry picture of me with Tromsø bridge in the background and the drawings.
A few days later, rain came and swept away all the colors but I wasn’t sad because I realized nothing lasts forever. It also gives room for something new: A new chapter in my life perhaps.
If only rain would come and wipe my slate clean…
Two of my latest obsessions are ‘Life, the universe and everything’ by Douglas Adams and ‘Weird Fishes/Arpeggios’ by Radiohead. The former is one of the books from his Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy series and the latter is a song from Radiohead’s ‘In Rainbow’s’ album.
Every sentence in the book is highlightable. Adams is a fabulous writer. So witty, so deep and so out of this world. Like this one I just came across, which prompted me to write this post :
“Just as a slow series of clicks when speeded up will lose the definition of each individual click and gradually take on the quality of a sustained and rising tone, so a series of individual impressions here took on the quality of a sustained emotion – and yet not an emotion. If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not like a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly, again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across an expressway is deadly.
And just as a rising tone will change in character and take on harmonics as it rises, so again, this emotionless emotion seemed to rise to an unbearable if unheard scream and suddenly seemed to be a scream of guilt and failure.
And suddenly it stopped.”
The second obsession the weird fishes/arpeggios is equally beautifully written and composed. The lyrics, Thom Yorke’s haunting voice and the repetitive drum/guitar rhythm pattern makes this song truly intriguing.
“I’d be crazy not to follow.
Follow where you lead
They turn me
Turn me on to phantoms
I follow to the edge of the earth
And fall off
If they get the chance
And this is my chance”.
We came to the cabin with little sister. I have been laughing so much. She’s my laughing partner. So, trying to forget all the stressful situation and enjoy what I have now.
Random shit at university corridor. Who the hell leaves a pan in the hallway? We decided to put a label to it. It’s like an art piece. Made me and my friend laugh.
My sleep cycle is upside down. We went to bed at 10 in the morning and have been sleeping for 12 hours. It feels so strange. My body is relaxed but my mind is all drowsy.
We talked all night. 😊 I feel relieved and happy.
This morning my French flatmate came to the kitchen while I was making breakfast. He seemed very sad and he asked me: ‘How can we be happy when so much of bad things are going around us?’ I understand his sadness. France has been the centre of terror attacks recently. I was in daze myself. I thought for a while and said: ‘Just be grateful with what we have and try to be good to fellow being no matter how difficult it is. I guess!’
I think my answer satisfied him. He smiled and asked if I wanted to drink coffee with him.
With so much of sad things happening around the world, it’s very hard not to be depressed. But all we can do is ‘keep breathing…’ and count our blessings!
My friend shared this insightful post about the happiness in modern world.
I am relatively a pessimistic person. It’s not that I have been like this always. I remember I used to be a happy content kid. But over the time, I went through quite a lot of shits that have left me scarred. Despite this, I started this series on my blog so that I can acknowledge the reason to be happy each day in this otherwise bleak and sad world.
Everyday so much depressing news are coming from around the world. It’s like the world is going through a painfully difficult PMS. On the personal front, each day I face so many challenging emotions from within myself and others that I find difficult to cope with. Feels like, I am on a never-ending PMS as well. Last night, I almost made a decision to stop posting these ‘happy’ posts. I was in the depth of despair. I had never felt this disconnected with him and my surrounding in my entire life and it saddens me. It is not his fault because what I am feeling is entirely because of myself. So, before making last night’s post I was thinking aloud: “Am I genuinely happy? Who am I kidding? Why am I pretending everything is okay when it’s not? Why am I pretending to be happy when I am not?” But he assured me that I was doing a great job by posting this and talked about the growth in me.
I slept to the idea and woke up to believe that there is a purpose in me doing this. I hope my posts make someone genuinely happy. It’s not a lie when I post a picture of sun and say that ‘this sun made me happy today’. Still past few days have been very melancholy. I guess that is what brings change. It’s not always easy but when things are not working, it is a sign that you need to make a change within yourself. Everything else will work itself around it.
Hope, hope, hope! why are you so painfully intriguing? Why? Why? Why?
I am sad and tired. I don’t know what to write today. Here’s a picture of the almost midnight sun on my way back home.
Thinking of the sun today! It’s so rainy and grey these days.