Well, the previous post was sad. And the saddest part is for some reason I didn’t realize that I had not posted it.
So, one more missed day and a missed post.
Anyways, here I am, all renewed and refreshed. I have had quite a happy chill Sunday. He made an amazing grilled cheese sandwich with mozzarella and spring onion topping. It was amazing.
The happiest moment of the day was waking up to find a Facebook wallpost by a very dear friend of ours (his bestfriend). It was Tom Waits reading Bukowski’s poem.
I love Charles Bukowski. I always think I wanna grow old to be as badass as Bukowski. I like his raw, slap in the face poetry. And our friend thinking of us through that poetry is indeed a reason enough to be happy.
I had a strong urge to delete this blog yesterday. I have been feeling quite shitty lately. And everyday I post these happy post but then I question myself: ‘Am I really happy? Or am I lying to myself and the whole world?’ They say happiness comes from within. And I am trying, you know. I really do. But again and again I fall into this pit and I hate myself and everything around me.
I am grateful that I am able to post this. But who am I kidding? I am gonna be honest today and say I have been very sad today.
Even my language app agrees with me that I am lame forever alone.