Project Happiness 365: Day 42


I started reading ‘Amrita’ by Banana Yoshimoto, my second favourite Japanese author. I had read some pages earlier but I reread it. Her writings are mellow and kinda low key. There is nothing grand or extravagant about it. Her stories are everyday human stories usually dealing with some loss or tragedy. They also have a hint of mystery in it. But her stories end beautifully with a sense of hope.  There was a time when I slept with her book ‘Kitchen’ by my pillow. So, I am reading two books at one time right now. I’m still on with ‘Man’s search for meaning’.

Last night I read something really beautiful in Man’s search for meaning: “…the human life, under any circumstances, never ceases to have a meaning, and that this infinite meaning of life includes suffering and dying, privation and death.” That makes so much sense. It doesn’t matter if you don’t really know what the meaning of your life it, it still is something. Someday sooner or later, you will realize that everything you went through actually adds up to make your life whole.

Day 42: Listz and the Pier

I was sitting in a cafe drinking my coffee and reading the book when this music started playing on my headset.

Franz Liszt with his amazing ‘Années de pèlerinage – III – 4. Les Jeux d’eaux a la villa d’Este’ played by another virtuoso Lazar Berman. (I like Jeff Manookian’s version as well). As this piece started playing on my headset, I closed my eyes and I was transported to another world. Then, I put it on repeat and decided to walk to the pier in front of the cafe, which has a very special memory attached to it. It was bitingly cold this afternoon but still I stood there by that pier watching the moon, the cathedral, the shining water and the mountain for a long time. It was surreal. 

This music is like our relationship. It gains momentum right from the beginning. There is no slow start. It’s just delicately beautiful, with each tiny note gaining speed right from the start taking it to the highest peak. It’s rising and falling with each progression. In the middle, it almost feels like it’s getting tough, intensely difficult yet it goes on and on. The music is like a flowing river turning around the corner and disappearing out of vision for a while then, coming back to sight ever so gently yet deeply. Despite the highs and lows, the music never loses its intensity. It appears to be getting faint sometimes, and at one point, it almost feels like there is no music at all but it comes back with a bang again and again, more strongly. And the best thing is the ending. One big bang which gives you the feeling that the music has ended but faintly it keeps on playing to beautiful tender regression that slowly fades away into oblivion. Oh! I loved it. That moment right there gave me strength.

day 42day 42-3

Our relationship is exactly like this music piece. It is up and down, high and low, rising and falling, disappearing and reappearing but it’s strong, deep and intense.

It hurts sometimes but I believe this space is worth it. 🙂


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