I work as a personal assistant for a differently able guy. He is suffering from a rare genetic disorder and both his legs don’t work. He sits on a wheelchair so, I have to help him around with his chores. It used to be fun job in the beginning since there isn’t much to do. But it has not been an easy ride. It’s been more than a year since I started working with him and with each passing time, the job became more difficult. It is not a physical labor but mentally and emotionally, it drains me.
Last couple of months have been very difficult. I did not know how to handle it and I have been frustrated. I also had a frequent thoughts of quitting but then I realized that I am not a quitter. I am still hanging on, trying to be as calm, friendly and positive as possible and trying out several ways to handle the situation. After I started this project, I can see things changing.
Day 33: 15 minutes before work
I realized today that the bus I take to work allows me to spend 15 minutes in a cafe before work. It is just 15 minutes but the effect is powerful. I get time to read books, enjoy my coffee and look forward to the day. I used to be so annoyed every time I had to take the bus to work, thinking about all the ordeal I have to go through at work. But lately, I look forward to this cozy ‘me’ time before work and that makes everything else after that positive.
Today I was at this cafe in city centre drinking my cortado and reading Kenzaburō Ōe’s ‘The Silent Cry’. It was relaxing and rejuvenating before 7 long hours of job. It is almost meditative, if you allow yourself to be present in the moment. It gives me time to think and contemplate about things that are important to my life. If my mind is at peace when I start working, then I can handle difficult situations more easily. I find it easier to handle the guy because I am not frustrated myself. I couldn’t believe when I realized I was laughing at the things at work that would normally annoy me.
So, today’s moment of happiness was the 15 minutes of ‘me time’ before work.