Monthly Archives: January 2016

Project Happiness 365: Day 54

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I am gonna make another post today to compensate for missing blog post yesterday (or posting late).  I have been quite melancholy today.  It might just be the hormones of my body going all crazy.  Yes, PMS!  I am trying to hang on there but I feel very lonely and sad.

Day 54: Fighting the monthly war

Those who go through this monthly ordeal, before the real shit begins, will understand what I am talking about.  PMSing is difficult and annoying. I go through mood swings,  melancholia,  anxiety, weakness, muscle and stomach cramps.  I don’t feel like talking and just wanna curl up in the corner and cry. I also feel very nostalgic and sad.  I miss being with my brother. He would always know what to do to make me feel better.  I didn’t even need to tell him what I am going through. When he knew that I am not feeling good,  he would make tea or get me some chocolates or cheese or cakes and cheer me up. I miss him every time I am sick. I don’t wanna bother anyone else because it doesn’t feel right.

I went out even though the weather was bad. Shouldn’t really call it bad but it was snowy and wet. But walking home was good.

I also tried taking a shower and drinking some green tea. I did some Mandala painting on this deco elephant. It turned out okay. But still the hint of sadness is there. Hopefully I will get back my groove.

Here’s what I made.

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Project Happiness 365: Day 52

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One lesson for today: ‘Happiness is your own treasure because it lies within you.’
Think about it. Do you really wanna spend these days that could have been the best days of your life brooding over some petty stuff that won’t even matter in the long run?  I don’t!  That’s what I realized.

I don’t wanna spend ten more years of my life being sad about things that I can’t change. I also realized that no one has the power to make you sad unless you let them. You yourself are responsible for your happiness.
So, unlock that door that is preventing you from unleashing that treasure and be happy. You have only one life! 🙂

Day 52:  Sun, glorious sun
I finally saw the sun this morning.  “Oh! How good it is to see the sun.” Ø says so. 🙂
Here’s a picture that I took when I was running for the bus. I was excited like a kid because I finally managed to wake up early enough to catch a glimpse of the glorious sun.

Isn’t good to be alive in this beautiful world?

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Project Happiness 365: Day 51

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You know that feeling of satisfaction when you are done with your work. I feel that today. I also feel very calm lately. Not that I want to jinx it but I don’t get angry about little things anymore. I remember, some time ago I realized that all my life I have expressed my every emotions with anger. If I was stressed out,  I would be angry. If I was jealous,  I would be angry. If I was disappointed,  I would be angry. And even when I was sad, I would be angry. I didn’t know any other way to express myself.

Also, I have projected my anger on everything and everyone. I was angry with my father all my life for not communicating with me and building up a wall between us.  I was angry at my mother for dying too early and leaving me alone to sort out things on my own. I was angry at my family (except for my brother)  for never ever supporting my choices and decisions.  I was angry at my friends for never standing up for me and betraying my trust. That was exactly why I was angry with my ex-boyfriends.  They were disappointments and made me realize how wrong the choices in my lives are. I was angry with my boyfriend for little things that don’t even matter anymore. The worst of all,  I was angry at myself for not living upto my own expectations and being such a loser.

But surprisingly, not anymore.  I feel at peace with myself, with the people around me and the world. It should be the immense feeling of acceptance I have managed to get for myself and my life. It might also be the beautiful spiritual experience I had. And most of all, it is also this heart full of love and care for ‘my special traveling companion.’
Nevertheless, it’s a good feeling.

Day 51: For the moments of realization

These moments of realizations, I mentioned above, came when I was working on my reviews, when I was drinking my coffee at Kystens Hus and when I saw the V sign on the mountain today.

So, today is for those moments…

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Project Happiness 365: Day 50

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It’s already 50 posts with Project Happiness 365. I am proud that I have managed to come this far. Every single day has been a beautiful one because there was always something to be grateful about. Of course there were a lot of sad incidents but I managed to find my peace of mind and be happy. Still more days to go but I am pretty sure it’s gonna be good. I am hopeful.

Day 50: Walk through the moonlit path

This morning at around 3, I went to sleep in his new place.  We walked through the woods on a snowy path. It was so nice.  The moon was beautiful. The trees, clouds, dramatic arctic sky and the beautiful moon were a perfect combo for the walk with the love of my life.

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Moments like these make living worthwhile.  🙂

Project Happiness 365: Day 49

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I had a super productive day. I managed to do the presentation despite sleeping for just an hour and half. I finished reading two articles, did some writings, had lunch with my classmates and met my super inspiring friend. I finally felt like being a Master’s student at a university. 🙂

I am finally reading seriously on Mandala art. It feels good to have some purpose in life. If you are interested in reading about Mandala art, here is a link.  It is quite fascinating because I had stopped drawing since a long time. I am starting all over again. When I walked on the streets of old Kathmandu and Patan, I could see artists just sitting outside their art/antique shops painting mandalas on a special cloth or canvas. Sadly, I never stopped to watch them work. I almost took it for granted. The next time when I go to Kathmandu, I know where to go. I will go to my favourite square and watch traditional artists paint thangka.

Now I feel like this is something I wanna do. So, I’m on it.

Day 49: My working cove

Since he moved out, the space where he used to work/play is empty. When I came home this evening, I was suddenly bitten by this cleanliness bug. So, I cleaned the whole place, folded clothes, moped the floor, changed sheets and arranged books. I cleared up the table of all the unnecessary stuffs piled up there and set up my working space.

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So, this is how it looks now. I know it doesn’t look super organized but that’s how I am. It works. I started writing this post here.

I am listening to Ingrid Michaelson after a long time. She’s one of my favourite singers. Such a soothing voice! Her unplugged concert is almost minimalist with just ukulele and guitar accompanying her vocal. My most favourite songs are: Keep Breathing and The Chain. I think I have my own version of the chain with sound of rain in Kathmandu as percussion somewhere on my laptop. But I’m too embarrassed to actually share it with anyone else.  🙂

I am planning to get a bit more organized than before. I am looking forward to writing my thesis chapter. However, one thing I am really really really looking forward to is my summer holidays. This year I am planning to travel few places in Europe. There’s a possibility to backpack too. But I am not sure about it. I have started making a list of things I wanna do by the end of this year. My own bucketlist!

Oh it’s gonna be good!! Excited!!! 🙂

Project Happiness 365: Day 48

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This picture is doing rounds on Facebook.

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It is not the first time I came across this picture/quote. But every time I read it, I realize how important it is to actually appreciate the ordinary. I think the problem begins when we do not appreciate what we have, we forget to enjoy the moment and we don’t care about the loved ones around us. Most of the times in our lives, we try to create magic and the quest is to make ourselves beyond average and live the extraordinary life.

However, the best things are actually all around us in little things we do and every day mundane things we see. Why do they even have so flat almost negative connotation to the word ‘mundane’? Mundane can be beautiful as well. The purpose of this project has been to find happiness in every day mundane things I do, see, experience. And I feel so glad that my eyes are finally open to see the beauty in every day things, my heart is receptive to all the good things life has to offer and my soul is happy.

I have never felt this good ever in my life…

Day 48: The story

I have been doodling quite a lot since three days. This is a Mandala inspired doodle I made this evening while I was sitting in a cafe reading. When one is forced to be in the moment, one experiences almost surreal experience that can hardly be expressed by words. Here’s my attempt to make sense of my extraordinary moment.

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Project Happiness 365: Day 47

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The castle of illusions that you had built in your mind comes tumbling down. It crashed into pieces brick by brick. You become sad. You don’t want it to break like that. It was so beautiful. How can that be?

But think about it. Wasn’t it good that it broke into pieces? Wasn’t it better that it crashed right now by a touch of reality? Wasn’t it great that you finally learnt that there’s no right or wrong? When it is an illusion… it is better it fell down before it destroyed you. One big storm and it would have crashed and hurt you along the way anyways.

Now the space is open and free again.  It worries that the space is empty again.

But think again. Does it matter?  It really doesn’t! Let it be vacant.

Nevertheless, it’s time to live through the devastation. It’s time to make use of all the lessons you have learnt, knowledge you have accumulated.It is time to build something beautiful truly. It is time to rethink everything…

Day 47: Rethink everything

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P.S. This makes so much sense now! 🙂

Project Happiness 365: Day 46

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Today I share two quotes from one of the books I read long time ago. A friend of mine visiting and volunteering at my brother’s school gifted me that book. It was quite an intense read for a 17 years old girl but still I liked it. It was philosophical. The ‘Messiah’ character was intriguing. The book is called “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” by Richard Bach. 

“The world is your exercise book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, though you may express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write lies, or nonsense, or to tear the pages.”

“Remember where you came from, where you’re going, and why you created the mess you got yourself into in the first place. You’re going to die a horrible death, remember. It’s all good training, and you’ll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind. Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less-advanced life-forms, and they’ll call you crazy.”

Day 46: Trying to find the light

Last night I was down with cold and fever. It was funny because I missed eating Nepali food, so, I got up and made food for myself. I was so down but I still tried find some energy. And I managed. It seems like that is how it works. I am responsible for my own happiness. I light up some candles, put on some music and God! that forest looked beautiful.

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Then, I started making crazy, funny snaps and sending on snapchat just to cheer my friends up. Here’s one of them.

Oh! it’s so much nice to make your friends and loved ones happy. I asked my flatmate, why is he always so chill and calm. He replied, ‘I just live by the principle that if I can compromise on somethings that makes my loved ones happy then, I just do that.’ This guy lives by it and his wife seems happy to be with him.

I read somewhere today that to truly love someone is to be able to be with them even when things go wrong, not just when it’s easy. I am trying to live by it and I hope it works.  🙂

Project Happiness 365: Day 45

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I am sick. I think I caught the viral fever that everyone else in my class have been suffering from. I don’t wanna complain. It’s okay. I’m happy because I had a nice productive day.

Day 45: Yoda

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This was the birthday gift from bf. He sits there all day on one of the shelves of my reading room urging me to work. Every time I see this I feel like I am filled with positive energy. I really like what Yoda says, there’s no trying, you either do it or you don’t. His expression here is like ‘Just Go for it!’ I can’t write too much today. I’m feeling really down. But I hope the fever won’t get too worse and I can get back on my feet soon. 🙂