“Sweet dreams are made of this, Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world, And the seven seas,
Everybody’s looking for something.”
I woke up with this song in my head. I listened to it the first thing in the morning. I also wanted to read something cool as soon as I woke up. Kafka on the shore was out of question because I don’t wanna overdo it. I tried finding something on the internet but google gave me crappy suggestions. I read a spiritual blog and it said you should ask yourself four profound questions every morning as soon as you wake up:
- What are you grateful for today?
- What do you want to accomplish today?
- What is your greatest trait?
- I forgot the last one. 😀
I have been thinking and reflecting a lot lately, about the way I had been making choices and especially my behaviour. Last year I went through a lot of broken ties. I had arguments with friends. I am no longer friends with a lot of them. However, I am not proud of my part in those incidents and esp. many of my actions. Lately, I also have been thinking that going through such experiences was more about ego clash than anything else. It was too much bonding in the beginning and then disconnection. I tried to apologize for my part in those tiffs and today I had a little talk with one of my estranged friends. It was awkward in the beginning but at least I tried and it went okay. What dawned upon me is people are so tired, stressed and have their own struggle! I don’t wanna be an asshole and add up to their woes. No more senseless arguments!
Day 12: Smiley happy self
Fun fact about me – I like smiling. I like smiling to myself in the mirror. I smile at people when I meet. I cannot not smile when I see someone. I can’t go around with a grumpy look. If I have a really bad day, then I just don’t look at people or look at myself in the mirror. I have this ability to always smile no matter how shitty things turn. Call me narcissist! But I think it’s a gift.
However, it’s quite difficult being this smiley self here in this rather cold place. People here avoid smiling at each other except for old men and women. Young people are so self conscious, they avoid eye contacts let alone smile. It’s quite different in Nepal. People are very warm and if you see someone, they always smile. It helps when you are having a bad day. One smile actually brightens up your day. At least that’s what I thought back home. Here, on the other hand, it’s quite the opposite, if you smile, you either are crazy or you are probably interested. You have to be so careful not to give a wrong idea.
Most of the time I don’t care. I smile anyways. I can’t pretend to be something I am not. My smile is something I am very grateful and happy about. It always helps me get through the darkest of times. So, here’s one for you 🙂